I just completed a three day mini-fast. It was a very interesting experience. I have fasted before, Im not sure if I ever did three whole days, but regardless, this experience was different. I think largely because for the last 3 years I have been either pregnant or nursing and not only was fasting not even an possibility, but I had the liberty to eat MORE than I usually would. I seem to have been stuck in the mentality that I can and should still eat a little “extra”. Fasting is far less familiar to me now than it was in the past. In addition, I have become a little to comfortable with the fact that my post “two babies in two years” body just wont be the same as it was before. What’s worse is that I have regained an old habit I used to have of turning to food for a variety of reasons other than needing to nourish my body. I recently became aware of my regression into this very unhealthy state. A few weeks of unrestrained indulgence and a few extra pounds on my hips to show for it made it clear to me that there is a problem at hand. At first the thought of fasting was abhorant and I was thinking about all the reasons why doing it wouldnt be neccessary. But the more I thoguht about it, the more I realized that the problem was bigger than I initailly realized. I began to see that I have been turning to food for almost all enjoyment and satisfaction in my life. This stage of life has made it even easier for me to do so. I dont have the soul fulfilling mornings that remind me of where my true comtentment and satisfaction are found, I am often bored and in need of some some sort of stimulation when at home and going to the grocery store might very well be the most mutually exciting activity for me and the kids to do. These factors combined make my already difficult struggle with food even more intense.
Another reason I decided to fast was for detoxification. For the last few years Ive had a growing interest in the various methods of detoxifing both intestinally and cellularly but, as I mentioed, being a baby making/feeding factory left me no opportunity to pursue it. And, after my recent stint of overconsumption of mostly unhealthy foods, there seemed no better time than now. So I gave the mini detox juice fast a go.
While fasting, I prayed for God to realign my heart's pursuit of satisfactionand give me the strength to exercise better self control. I was reminded of the direct connection between my consistency in seeking God and allowing Him to fill and excite my soul and my ability to keep my mind off of food and resist the temptation to indulge in it. I prayed God would cleanse me of not only the toxic build up in my body but also in my heart.
Day one and two were surprisingly easy. I could not remove myself entirely from the presence of food because I still had to feed my family. I made PB & J’s, prepared snacks and cooked diner. I thought these smells and sights would be really difficult to have around but they weren't. Infact sometimes preparing food is just enough distraction and enjoyment for me to forget about eating. Ironic. Day three was a different story. I woke up nauseous and shaking with a headache, my heart beating fast and short of breath. For a brief moment I wigged out thinking I was pregnant. (Dont worry, Im not.) I went from the bed immediately to the couch and couldnt get up for an hour. I was experiencing many of the symptoms of detoxification. I was glad to think that the fast was “working” in that respect.
Finally I had to get up because I had to be at the gym to teach my senior fitness class. That’s when it got really interesting.
I was dreading going because I thought I woud be weak and miserable the whole time but a few minutes into it I was
overcome by a peaceful calm that was almost euphoric. Normally this class is so boring. I do the same boring little
moves to cheesy music with a bunch of grouchy seniors. But yesterday I was floating, smiling, giddy and so happy to be there dancing with the old folks instead of upstairs in my favorite hard core aerobics class. It lasted the whole hour and at that point I was thinking I would fast for longer than 3 days if this was how things were gonna be. It didnt last long after that though. Sadly, after getting my kids from the childcare and heading back home I sort of crashed and again felt weak and icky, not as bad as the morning though.
I was so intriged by this experience. My guess is that my body was reacting physiologically to the purging taking place inside. It's so strange that it had such a mental and emotional effect. I ended my fast gradually and slowly rather than with a meal so as to avoid bombarding my freshly cleansed palate with too many tastes, smells and textures which make indulging very hard to resist. Although I know nothing magical took place inside me, I feel very refreshed by this experience both physically and mentally and that my relationship to food has been made right once again. Overall, the fast was very positive and I Iook forward to allowing God, rather than food, provide excitement and satiety in my life.